why

i just dont understand why why why my life is such an empty ,why my life is such lonely ,why everybody ignores me ,why everybody dont want to stay here and listens my story ,even my parents never did that .my life is full of emptyness ,i just want someone who cares about me at least one person is enough but now none of my friends none of my family.i mean it hurts so much okay you never understand my situation. can you imagine when you really interesting to tell your story to your mom but then she just 'hah okay' and then continue her work but most of times she pretending that she cant hear me ,i just sit next to her okay ,it's not miles away , just next to her but she ignores me.i just cant explain how ,but surely my life is miserable ,my life is lonely.for the record i never let everyone down okay, i try my best to understand people around me ,i try to appreciate people around me, i try to make them feel loved ,i try my best okay i try my best! but what they do as returns ? are nothing okay nothing at all  , all i feel is hate from everyone around me.i only exist to their eyes when i have something that they dont have .IT HURTS SO MUCH!!!!! i dont know why my life is so miserable ,i try to stay positive but no i cant because there are a lot of things i have to handle by myself ,MYSELF and i cant do that anymore ,i just cant .just imagine how you feel when you good in drawing something ,you try the best to show your parents that you are good at arts but they just like 'whatever ,arts are not important ,you just waste your time ,can you just study there and be like your sister ,intelligent like her, be her" FUCK OKAY FUCK its my life ,it supposed to be my decision not them.FUCK EVERYTHING! people are truly fucking bitches ever i hate this world ,why theres no one in this world try to understand my life WHYYYYY.i just want my grandma right now ,if she still here she probably hears my story ,i miss her so much ,i just want her right now.i want her.God please let me meet her ,at elast in my dream i just want her so badly.society nowadays are fucking retarded bitches ever .i hate everyone in this world ,i just want my grandma RIGHT NOW !